What Were the Gods Thinking?
by Maeniel
Summary: Kenshin, Kaoru, etc... have been reborn in the present day world. They've been searching for each other, and now that they are so close, they discover a few changes have been made. They're not exactly who they used to be...


_Disclaimer_: I do not own any of the names used in this story. The characters… some of them, I own.

_Notes_: This is… odd. Dumb and odd. It may not make you burst out laughing, but it is meant to be somewhat humorous. Just another reincarnation story… sort of.

_Warnings_: Oddness and some OOC ahead. Rating for the omake at the end.

What Were the Gods Thinking? 

            Someone was calling him. Kenshin yawned and stretched languidly, lifting his head to see who had disturbed his nap. It was the girl. He would rather be sleeping in this nice patch in the sun than playing with the girl. She pulled on his ears and messed up his hair.

            "Mom, he's not coming!" the girl whined.

            "He's sleeping, honey," the mother replied. "Leave him alone."

            The mother was always reasonable. Kenshin curled up on the picnic blanket and closed his eyes again.

^_^

            Kaoru was comfortable, sitting on the low tree branch. She did not care for the sunny, hot day, but that did not stop her. Her bright, dark eyes shined as she watched him, sleeping on the ground below her. She had found him at last.

            Turning on the branch, she crept further forward to get a better look, joy singing in her heart. She would not lose him again.

^_^

            Sanosuke was in a panic. Those idiots were going to kill him! He was not ready to die! Not him! Not a fine male specimen in the prime of his life. How dare that old hag decide they no longer needed him!

            He had to get away. He needed to escape. His eyes focused on the fence at the end of the yard. Beyond the fence was the woods. He would escape to the darkness of the trees.

            Glancing back at the house once, he took off running.

^_^

            Saitou could not believe he was traveling with a weasel. Of all things to be doing! However, their destination was the same, and she kept up with him. Plus, he had to admit, Misao's unassuming appearance came in handy at times.

            She glanced at him, her laughing eyes mocking him as if to say, 'You know you don't mind the company, you big, toothless wolf!' He snorted and turned away, picking up his pace and moving toward the park. Beside him, Misao snickered softly and ran after him.

^_^

            Megumi looked on in amusement as she watched Sanosuke run through the forest like a bat out of hell. His panic made her want to laugh. Quickly enough, her merriment faded, and she moved in to intercept her panicked friend.

            _That idiot rooster! He's going to get himself killed._

            Running through the woods where animals waited to pounce on unsuspecting victims was not the wisest thing to be doing. Megumi stepped forward, into his path.

^_^

            Something was out of place. Out in the grassy expanse of the park, the child and her mother were playing. They laughed, oblivious to any possible danger around them.

            In the wooded space beyond them, it seemed fine. There were few sounds beyond the normal birds chirping and animals foraging in the bushes. He turned his attention to the more immediate vicinity, ears straining to catch any unusual noise, his other senses sweeping the area.

            A soft crack followed by a frantic rustle made him look up. Startled, Kenshin could only scramble back as the branch above him broke. With the leaves and twigs fell a squealing figure, hitting the blanket with a soft thud.

            He stared in disbelief, slow to recognize.

            _Kaoru?_

^_^

            It was an unusual situation. Sanosuke, Megumi, Saitou, and Misao stared at each other, torn between fear, relief, and the desire to burst out laughing. Actually, Misao and Megumi were relieved. Sanosuke was still mildly terrified, but he was starting to get angry at the laughter he saw in Saitou's amber-eyed stare.

            The initial shock soon wore off, and they bickered a bit, debating on the next course of action now that they had found each other. Saitou and Misao pointed out that their destination was the park not far in the distance. Megumi thought a park was preferable to wandering around in the woods. Sanosuke was less convinced, not particularly inclined to follow Saitou. A sharp comment from Megumi, however, had him hustling along toward the edge of the woods.

^_^

            "Mom, there's a bear hugging our cat!"

            "Stay back, honey," the woman snatched up her daughter, edging back with the other park patrons, not certain what to make of the creatures on her picnic blanket.

            "Actually, I think that's a raccoon," a nearby man observed a little nervously.

            "What's it doing?!" the mother demanded.

            "Lookie, mom!" the girl chirped. "Dragon made friends with the bear!"

            Sure enough, though the cat looked dazed, he seemed to be completely at ease with the forest creature beside him. His orange ears flicked, and both the raccoon and the cat looked to the woods.

            "Dear god!" the mother grabbed her daughter's hand and took off running. "Someone call animal control!"

            "What the--?!"

            "Is that a chicken following those dogs around?"

            "It's a freakin' wolf!"

            The six animals met up, making various animal noises. The people in the park scattered, intimidated by the sight of the wolf, weasel and raccoon, although one person was running terrified of the cat. None of the animals minded, merely relieved to see each other.

            Kenshin was a little put off by the fact that he was _still_ smaller than everyone else, including Kaoru. Kaoru enjoyed being able to pounce on the one-time hitokiri. Being a rooster in a group of predators, Sanosuke promptly took shelter behind Kenshin, poking through the picnic basket left by the mother and her child when they had fled. Receiving deadly glares from Kaoru, Megumi sidled up to Kenshin, admiring the way his orange fur contrasted with her darker red fur. Plundering in her nature, Misao joined Sanosuke in the food, announcing her famished state with the sharp vocalizations that she had discovered annoyed Saitou quite a bit. And Saitou just sat on the blanket, glaring down at the others in disdain. There he was, a great predator faced with the former Battousai, who was now little more than a helpless kitten.

            Happily domesticated, Kenshin cheerfully reminded the others that the humans would not take lightly to so many wild animals in one place. As if to say, "I'm not leaving you!" Kaoru latched onto Kenshin again, earning a protesting meow.

            So, the unlikely group of animals collected themselves and, to Megumi's dismay, made their way back to the forest. The people in the park stared after them in shock, not certain what had just happened.

            "Mom! Those aminals just kidnapped Dragon!" a tearful child wailed.

            "Hush, dear. I'll get you a new cat."

^_^

            They lived happily ever after... until they encountered a Siberian tiger who seemed hell-bent on having his revenge on one small cat who, apparently, had scared a small blackbird to death, thereby destroying that blackbird's mate's happiness. The tiger did not seem to know why he cared so much about the blackbird, only that it's life must be avenged.

            And so began the life of a cat named Dragon.

^_^

Notes: Well. Yeah. So that's it. The last bit was somewhat callous, I am well aware, but it's all in fun. It's not to be taken too seriously.

Omake: Twisted wording (BIG warning—this is… risqué. I give credit to Chibi Assassin, whose dirty little mind came up with it originally.)

Child: Mom, there's a bear hugging our cat!

Mom: *speechless*

Random Man: Actually, I think that's a raccoon.

Mom: What's it doing?!

Random Man: Shield your eyes, children.

Child: Lookie, mom! Dragon made friends with the bear!

Mom: *covering Child's eyes* How is that even possible?

Random Man: You got me. Two different species, I'm sure it won't work.

Mom: *struck speechless again*

(Fitz: …Now that's just sick and wrong. My apologies.)


End file.
